Ode To The Great Mammal

What is the animal we admire the most
An animal so great, we'd give him our toast
A beast with such strength and such force
Even the Great Pirate Roberts would gallop away on his horse
A mammal with such bodily strength
You couldn't help stare at his tusks at great length
With warts on his nose, to help him in fight
With one look you'd admit, you would flee in fright
And though his looks may be nothing of beauty
Inside, you can tell, he is somewhat quite fruity
He chases his opponent and fights a marvelous bout
Then destroys his enemy with a terrible clout
He prances around, king of his land
Oh what a fellow, so regal, so grand
Who is this heroic beast of which we talk
A beast so mighty with a bit of swagger in his walk
It is the Warthog, so mighty and cool
This is an ode to you Warthog, you so totally rule
So we love you dear Warthog for what you are
I believe even Scott would give you a ride in his car
This animal is truly the "King of The Beasts"
Even a Lion wouldn't attempt to make it his feast
So now with these last words I must say goodbye
And I pray if you ever face a Warthog, you'd live and not die

The F Word!!!

Ahhhh!!!! THE F WORD!!! I know what you all are thinking, but STOP IT!!! The F word I am talking about is...wait for it........FAMILY!!! Yes, Family. Family is the one word that can simultaneously scare me and make me happy at the same time. However, the only time that this particular F word has such an effect on me is when talking about my very own family.  The reason my family frightens me is, well, because we are so...odd, and the reason my family makes me so happy is...well...because we are so odd!!! There are eight people in my family (including my dog), Dad, Mom, Hannah, Keegan, Nolan, Aidan, and lastly Pistachio. I could go into great detail about each person and explain every fact about how boring our lives are, including how many mangos they ate this past month, or how many frogs jumped up their pant legs, but of course that would get old. Oh and also how many boys asked my sister on a date this past month, but like I said, that would get old. So, instead, I will write one sentence about each of my family members that shows how I feel about them

    Dad - The finest "Big Daddy" I could ever ask for who is always there for me, keeps me in line (most of the time) and is my continual sports bud.

    Mom - The sweetest most lovely mommy ever who knows what's proper for my upbringing (usually, but not always), has a great sense of humor and puts up the times when I terrorize the home with my presence.

    Hannah - My laugh/slap happy buddy, second mom (which I don't normally like), and the person who I tell all my random/stupid jokes to (she usually rolls her eyes and goes on with whatever she is doing).

    Keegan - My punching bag, buddy for my complete randomness, another person to successfully annoy the heck out of and share completely weird inside jokes with. 

    Nolan - Who is literally mini me in personality , he does everything I used to do (and sometimes still do), and probably the overall the most stunning child I know (yes stunning, just wait till he randomly walks up to you and starts hitting you, biting you or kissing you one day and you'll see how stunning he can get)!

   Aidan - The sweetest little boy I ever knew, who can make you do almost anything, complete Wii addict and mommy's boy. 

   Pistachio - My big fluffy dog/bear who is the happiest puppy I know and always there for you when you are down! 

So there, you know a little bit about each person in my family! As you can see, they are fun (most of the time), nice (occasionally), and sometimes horrifying (mainly because of me, but that's a different story). Maybe for another post I'll have each of my family members write a little something about me, now that I wrote something about each of them (you know, like guest appearances on my show). I think that's a good idea! But anyway, there is one last thing I would like to say about my family...actually an unknown author will say it! Take it away unknown author!

"Families are like fudge - mostly sweet with a few nuts."

Fonts

I apologize for the formating problems of this post, but because all these awesome fonts were not available in blogger I had to create this offline. So this post about totally freaking awesome fonts is actually an image. Again I am sorry. 

PPD!

Ugh!!! PPD!!! Such a horrible thing! If any of you don't know what PPD means, it is the abbreviated version of Post Play Depression. If any of you don't know what Post Play Depression is, it is the depression you experience after being in a play, and right now I'm suffering from severe PPD. To be suffering PPD I must have been in a play right? Well that's correct. Just last week on Saturday, the HSC Thespians Society finished up their year long project with the final night of The Scarlet Pimpernel. This was my first play, so this is my first time coming down with PPD. I would never have expected it would be such a severe type of depression. After a year of hard work and suffering, it was all over in three quick nights. It was awesome, and yes! it was one of the most fun things I have ever done, but now that it is over there is a deep cavity in my heart that I feel I cannot fill. I am a very emotional guy. I can seem tough and unemotional, but I am really soft-hearted, and because of that, this is hitting me quite hard. Being emotional and sentimental, I have two special keepsakes that will always remind me of this play. You might find this odd, but it is who I am. The first keepsake I have, strange as it is, is a bobby pin. What?!? Yes I know, A bobby pin. My friend Harry looked at me on the second performance night and said, "Cullen, I have a present for you." And then he gave me a bobby pin that was used to hold his fake pony tail in. This will always remind me of my great friend Harry and the excruciating pain it was to get the bobby pins stuck in my head! The second keepsake I have is a lock of my own hair. This hair was from a very special place on my head: the very back. This was the hair that was forced into a little plastic band to form the little 'flower' on the back of my head that we called a pony tail. I will always have this hair as a reminder of my first pony tail and the excruciating pain I had to go through to to slick back my hair and get this pony tail (thank you Hallie and Christi). Anyway, my emotions are running high and I fear if I do not stop this post I will break down and sob from PPD and from the remembrance of the excruciating pain I went through. So I will stop and pray that none of you will ever go through such severe PPD as I have.

Welcome To My World

Come one, come all!!! See The Delusional Man show!!! Okay, well I am a dude who likes to live in my own world where everything revolves around me! Okay the title of this blog sounds like a freak show at a circus, but I like to think of the world as my stage and I am the main actor. Now you might think I am cocky and blah, blah, blah, but yeah. This blog isn't going to be all about me, a lot about me, but not all about me. The reason I picked "The Delusional Man" for my blog title is because my oh so sweet mother says I am delusional in the way the real world is. She says I see things with a narrow, all about me scope. Now while I do care about people other than me, certain people more than me, I just might be a too caught up with me. I'm trying to tone that down but it's kinda hard, so bear with me. I am a very confident fellow, sarcastic and a lot of fun! I try to be humorous and funny. I'll try and make you laugh, sometimes you won't get my humor, but as I said before, bear with me. So welcome to my blog and I hope you will enjoy the show. I present to you "The Delusional Man!" (me)