We Have A Winner!

I am proud to announce that the contestant who one the Momentous 1000 Contest is.......Kurt R.!!!! Congratulations Kurt, you have just won a $20 Starbucks Gift Card!!! Let's all have a round of applause for Kurt (which means you sit at your computer clapping enthusiastically, while your family looks at you like you are a lunatic)! Kurt, you will receive your prize in the mail within the week. I would again like to thank everyone who participated in the contest and everyone who reads The Delusional Man. I will most likely have another contest at 2000 page views! So keep reading and I will try to keep a steady stream of delusional fun coming your way. 

Thank you all, and goodnight! 

We Made it, Celebrate!!!

Congratulations Delusional Man fans!!! We have made it past 1000 page views! Thank you for coming this far with me! In my last post, I told you that once we broke 1000 page views that I would be having a thank you contest for all of you loyal fans! I am true to my word, so here are all of the contest details.

In appreciation of the fans of The Delusional Man, I will hold the Momentous 1000 Contest. In this contest, I will pick one fan out of all who enter, to win a $20 Starbucks gift card!!! Yes, I know, I am so very generous! Now, for the rules and how to enter this phenomenal contest.

How to enter:
1. Go to my blog, The Delusional Man (http://thedelusionalman.blogspot.com/), which if you are reading this, you should already be at.
2. Scroll down the blog and look on the side till you come to followers. Unless you have already joined, click "Join This Site." Up will pop another browser window and in that window, click the button "Follow this blog."
3. Once you are following The Delusional Man, come back to this post, and scroll down to the bottom of it, and you will see the word, "Comments," with the number of comments in front of it. Click on it, and comment with these words, "I love coffee," even if you don't.
4. Then sit, back and cross your fingers in high hopes that you will win!

Rules
1. You must be following my blog, and you must comment, "I love coffee," to enter.
2. Only one entry per person is allowed.
3. Contestants must be over twelve years of age to enter.
4. Immediate family members of Cullen P. Dunning are prohibited from entering the Momentous 1000 Contest.
5. Rules are subject to change if some "smart" person tries to get around the rules to his or her benefit in a dishonest way.

Those are the directions and rules for the Momentous 1000 Contest. Contest entry will be open until December 20. On December 21, I will put all the contestant's name into a hat and have my little brother Nolan draw names out of a hat until only one name remains. That name will be the Momentous 1000 Contest winner!!! Remember. you have until December 20, to follow The Delusional Man and comment on this post.

All I have left to say, is thank you and may the most lucky person win!

Something Special For My Fans!

Okay! If you look towards the upper right hand corner of my blog page, you will see that I now have over 800 page views!!! Okay, whatever, some of you fellow bloggers may be above 2000 already, so what! Remember, this is about me! So I am coming up on getting my first thousand page views, how cool is that??? I know, you are probably thinking, "Who cares? What is the point of this post?" Well, there is a little something in it for you! It is..................wait for it............................a.........reward!!!! Yes, a reward, I am rewarding the loyal fans of The Delusional Man, with a small contest to show my appreciation! However, there is one tiny detail...I'm not telling you what the reward is, or what the contest is going to be, until I reach 1000 page views! Only then will you know what one lucky Delusional fan will win! So, rack up those page views, and sit in anticipation to see what you could potentially win from me, The Delusional Man!!!

I'm Alive, Everybody Celebrate!!!!

Well, I'm back. Most of you all presumed I was dead or eaten by oversized hamsters, but no, I am still alive. The reasons for my disappearance are top secret. However I can tell you that it involved much pain and suffering, very small sides of pork, pickled piranha, a dastardly daisy, Harley Davidson knives and Phineas and Ferb. I apologize for my vanishing, it was at times unnecessary, but mostly it was very much needed. Anywho, on a happier note, I turned 16 today!!! The thing that I find the most awesome about being 16, is that I can ride in the back seat of a car...unbuckled....legally!!!!! I've been waiting for the day I could do that since, well, the day I found out I could a year ago on a trip to Canada!!! Anyway....For my birthday today, I plan to go out with my loverly parents for dinner, go birthday shopping at Footlocker, and well, do all the homework that I need to get done before tomorrow. Well, that is what happens when you are born in the middle of the school year. Oh well, I must depart now, and go back to my homework. I now bid you farewell and a happy birthday to me!!!

My Beautiful Girl

Most every guy knows a very beautiful girl, and a vast majority of those guys wish that could call that girl "theirs." It's the girl that has the great package of stunning looks, and a wonderful personality! Well...I have that girl, and my guess is my girl can beat any other in her species!!! My girl is drop dead gorgeous! She has beautiful brown eyes that glimmer in the sunlight and glow in the light from car headlights (or a flashlight). Her smile is the cutest thing thin in the whole entire world. She has quite a wide smile (a lot like me), but when she smiles the whole world stops and stares for a while. Also when she smiles her happiness shines through her gorgeous eyes and and that precious look on her face! But, the best feature is her soft, silky brown, red, white and black fur, yes...fir. Her overall fir color is a reddish/brown color that is so beautiful I can't describe it with words. She has a variety of different patches of fur with colors of black, brown and white which blend with her luscious general fur color. This makes the most unique and beautiful fur I have ever seen! This combination of stunning looks only sums up a minor portion of the most beautiful dog in the world. The other parts you would have to see for yourself to fully comprehend them! Wait, you didn't know it was dog I was talking about? Oh c'mon! Do you actually think I would writ a blog post about a human female? Maybe a song, but not a blog post! Really, let us face reality here and not be so delusional! Oh WAIT! What am I saying? Forget I said that! I Delusional if perfectly fine! Anywhoooooo....now that we all know that this is no human female and is the best female dog in the world, maybe you people need some pictures so you can actually see her beauty. I present to you, on THE DELUSIONAL MAN SHOW, ladies and gentlemen, humans and or otherwise. The most beautiful dog in the world PISTACHIO!!!

There she is everybody!

Goin' in for the kill! ;)

So beautiful!!!

Ahhhh!!! Look at that smile!

Me and my beautiful Girl!

Ode To The Great Mammal

What is the animal we admire the most
An animal so great, we'd give him our toast
A beast with such strength and such force
Even the Great Pirate Roberts would gallop away on his horse
A mammal with such bodily strength
You couldn't help stare at his tusks at great length
With warts on his nose, to help him in fight
With one look you'd admit, you would flee in fright
And though his looks may be nothing of beauty
Inside, you can tell, he is somewhat quite fruity
He chases his opponent and fights a marvelous bout
Then destroys his enemy with a terrible clout
He prances around, king of his land
Oh what a fellow, so regal, so grand
Who is this heroic beast of which we talk
A beast so mighty with a bit of swagger in his walk
It is the Warthog, so mighty and cool
This is an ode to you Warthog, you so totally rule
So we love you dear Warthog for what you are
I believe even Scott would give you a ride in his car
This animal is truly the "King of The Beasts"
Even a Lion wouldn't attempt to make it his feast
So now with these last words I must say goodbye
And I pray if you ever face a Warthog, you'd live and not die

The F Word!!!

Ahhhh!!!! THE F WORD!!! I know what you all are thinking, but STOP IT!!! The F word I am talking about is...wait for it........FAMILY!!! Yes, Family. Family is the one word that can simultaneously scare me and make me happy at the same time. However, the only time that this particular F word has such an effect on me is when talking about my very own family.  The reason my family frightens me is, well, because we are so...odd, and the reason my family makes me so happy is...well...because we are so odd!!! There are eight people in my family (including my dog), Dad, Mom, Hannah, Keegan, Nolan, Aidan, and lastly Pistachio. I could go into great detail about each person and explain every fact about how boring our lives are, including how many mangos they ate this past month, or how many frogs jumped up their pant legs, but of course that would get old. Oh and also how many boys asked my sister on a date this past month, but like I said, that would get old. So, instead, I will write one sentence about each of my family members that shows how I feel about them

    Dad - The finest "Big Daddy" I could ever ask for who is always there for me, keeps me in line (most of the time) and is my continual sports bud.

    Mom - The sweetest most lovely mommy ever who knows what's proper for my upbringing (usually, but not always), has a great sense of humor and puts up the times when I terrorize the home with my presence.

    Hannah - My laugh/slap happy buddy, second mom (which I don't normally like), and the person who I tell all my random/stupid jokes to (she usually rolls her eyes and goes on with whatever she is doing).

    Keegan - My punching bag, buddy for my complete randomness, another person to successfully annoy the heck out of and share completely weird inside jokes with. 

    Nolan - Who is literally mini me in personality , he does everything I used to do (and sometimes still do), and probably the overall the most stunning child I know (yes stunning, just wait till he randomly walks up to you and starts hitting you, biting you or kissing you one day and you'll see how stunning he can get)!

   Aidan - The sweetest little boy I ever knew, who can make you do almost anything, complete Wii addict and mommy's boy. 

   Pistachio - My big fluffy dog/bear who is the happiest puppy I know and always there for you when you are down! 

So there, you know a little bit about each person in my family! As you can see, they are fun (most of the time), nice (occasionally), and sometimes horrifying (mainly because of me, but that's a different story). Maybe for another post I'll have each of my family members write a little something about me, now that I wrote something about each of them (you know, like guest appearances on my show). I think that's a good idea! But anyway, there is one last thing I would like to say about my family...actually an unknown author will say it! Take it away unknown author!

"Families are like fudge - mostly sweet with a few nuts."